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This is living, I thought to myself

DS Maolalai

I remember

imagining my 20s like a star

or some other thing

from heaven; imagining

getting up early

with a hangover

and going to unpack

banana trucks

while some girl I'd had over

slept in my bed, and would wake up later

and rob me

the price of a coffee. I imagined

cards collapsing - tables

dragged in from the street. once

there was this party - me and emma

hadn't been talking much, but something happened

and I felt a hand

on my arm. turned, touched

and kissed her. it was new years - my friend

brian's house. I would have been 19 - first year

of college. this is living, I thought

to myself. this

is the rest

of my life. I imagined waking up

in an artistic apartment in an attic

somewhere in town. imagined emma

waking up naked. the sun

kissing her skin. and mine. passing her a drink - vodka

mixed with orange juice. a cigarette.

and her going down the stairs.

I like when I'm over

DS Maolalai


and you

are just studying

or, I don't know,

reading a book or something. I like it;

looking out the window

and breathing in, seeing

the people in apartments opposite

sitting and talking

or watching their own tvs.

just like we are

cuddled up here. I like

sleeping on your sofa

like a cat in the afternoon

and cleaning up the dishes

after you have cooked on them.

I like being tired with you

and us being tired together;


in a different way

like trying a new pair of shoes

which you think you'll be wearing a lot.